(A friend sent this to me originally and I got such a kick out of it I thought I'd put it on my blog )

It was only a matter of time before Jeff Foxworthy took a couple of pot shots at Colorado . You are a Coloradoan if ............

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.

4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.

5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.

8 . You think your major food gro ups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire beer.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.

11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards

12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.

13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista .

16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.

17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.

18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.

19. April showers bring May blizzards.

20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.

21. You know what a 'Chinook' is.

22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.

23. You know what a "fourteener" is.

24. You don't know what a "turn signal" is.

25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Republican in Congress does.

26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.

27. You know who Alferd Packer was and what he did.

28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.

29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.

30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.

31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.

33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.

34. You have an $8 00 stereo in your $300 truck.

35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!

38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.

40. You know where the real " South Park " is.

41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass. '

43. You've 'checked for ticks'

44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.

45. You've gone snow skiing in July and.....

46. You've played golf in January and.....

47. They were in the same year!

48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run into both oceans

49. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is .

50. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

51. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends

100 meters in 14 years (a story)

(Pictures of Tanya and Kannonji from my story "100 meters in 14 years")

One of the joy's of my life is writing stories. Over the years I've written many though most have become lost. Then in the late 1990's thanks to better computers I started saving these tales. Today I want to share with you one of my personal favorites. It is based on a Japanese anime called "Battle Athlete's" The two main character's of this tale is the reporter for Osaka TV Kannonji and a female runner named Tanya Natdhipytadd. The idea for this story came about because of two people I idolized as athlete's. One is Mary Decker a middle distance runner who while being one of America's best female runners never won an Olympic gold medal. The 2ND was John Elway QB of the Denver Bronco's who didn't win a Super Bowl until his 15Th season. I began to wonder how Miss Decker's career would have been perceived if she had won that gold medal in the 1984 games instead of crashing due to the incident with Romania's Zola Budd. After that the story began to write itself in it's initial draft. Afterwards my sister did some proofreading for me and gave me suggestions to make it better. Of all that I've written this tale has a special place in my heart. I hope you enjoy it.

Here is the link

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2967378/1/

Crushes (in honor of Valentines Day)

(pictures from left to right - Miss Elizabeth, Mary Decket (in the lead), Jacklyn Smith, Dawn Wells (with Bob Denver)

In a couple of weeks it'll be Valentine's Day. A day that has traditionally depressed me. So far I've managed to avoid the pre-Valentine's day funk I normally go into at this period of time. I get told by friends and family that it is nothing more than a manufactured holiday which granted is true but when you work in a place where so many people talk about what they'll do on that night. To see all the cards and letters that come through the post office it is difficult not to get crabby about not having a girlfriend.

I recently started thinking about about the types of women that I've had crushes on over the years. It seems they are quite varied in physical attributes. The closest thing that most of them have in common is they are in the field of athletics, or at least look quite athletic.

It is said that one never forgets their first crush. For me that crush was of Dawn Well's (picture #1) best known to legions of fan's as Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I was first attracted to the character that she portrayed then years later I became enchanted with the women who played her. The character appealed to me because of the relationship she had with Gilligan (Bob Denver). No matter how badly he loused up a rescue. No matter what manner of stupidity he committed she still cared deeply for him. Year's later I had the honor of meeting Ms. Wells at a book signing. As I waited for her to sign "The Mary Ann-Gilligan's Island Cookbook" I had bought I blurted out that she was my first crush and that she still was. She got up and gave me a peck kiss on the cheek. For a moment I swore my knee's were going to buckle. She is one of only three crushes who I ever meet, and the only one I ever got to talk to.

It wasn't until I became an adult that I found another women who I had fallen head over heels for. Her name was Jacklyn Smith who played Kelly Garrett in the show Charlie's Angel's. Back then Farrah Fawcett was considered the prettiest of the angel's but there was something about Ms. Smith that appealed to me. The more I learned about the actress the more it charmed me. For example she had studied to be a ballerina but something about her legs (I think it was a trick knee) ended that career for her.

Around the same time I was also falling for certain athlete's as well. Middle distance runner Mary Decker, who in an era where a lot of female runners seemed to look more manly then the men looked very feminine and lady-like. Around the same time I was in the navy and was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. There I was a regular attendee of basketball games for the Old Dominion Lady Monarch's where I had crushes on two of their players. Center Anne Donovan and Nancy Liebermann (sorry couldn't find any good pictures to post). I would do my best to get my ticket's behind the Lady Monarch bench so I could get a good view of these two even if it was only of their leg's and back's when they weren't on the court.

Other crushes over the year's include people from professional wrestling Rockin' Robin, Miss Elizabeth, Kimberly Page and Dark Journey. In the case of Rockin' Robin, Kimberly Page and Dark Journey the crush was for physical reason's only. In the case of Miss Elizabeth it was a case of the persona of her character that got to me first. The "Damsel in distress." she often played with her then husband Randy 'Macho Man" Savage turned out to be very close to her real life as I learned much later . When she died it actually hurt a bit. That may sound silly but it is still true. Especially when I heard of the way she died, from a mixture of alcohol and pain medications she was taking due to injuries she had received during her wrestling era.

I'm sure some psychiatrist could have fun trying to map the mind of a person who has these ladies for crushes and what they might mean. Currently there is no well known personality who I have a crush on at this time. Though there are some women at work who I do feel quite strongly about. Only problem is they're all married or involved. I won't mention their names to prevent them from any embarassment but my family knows who two of them are quite well.

With that my first blog on my own site is done. "The Lip" has nothing more to say today.